Filed: All Today’s Opinion Columns by Sir John Key

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Prime Minister for three terms, John Key has made few media appearances since his departure. But today he posted a number of comments in the media. We classify them.

4. Sir John Key on Newshub, September 26

A big win for Newshub. A long opinion piece by former Prime Minister Sir John Key. Eloquently argued with the occasional lurch into hyperbole (not alarmist, he urges, while repeatedly comparing New Zealand to North Korea), the piece urges for an acceleration of the opening. and frames the challenge with a bold analogy: the space race.

The title really goes for that. “Stop existing” (!) Coupled with a great “lock and lock”. The photography is definitely Sir John Key.

“Ah, how ironic,” I said aloud to no one, after receiving this announcement:

But make no mistake: it’s a blow for Newshub to get such a long and substantial editorial from Key, his first since leaving politics.

3. Sir John Key in the New Zealand Herald, September 26

A big win for the Herald. A long opinion piece by former Prime Minister Sir John Key. Eloquently argued with the occasional lurch into hyperbole (not alarmist, he urges, while repeatedly comparing New Zealand to North Korea), the piece urges for an acceleration of the opening and frames the challenge with a daring analogy: the space race.

The title is catchy, but does it reflect the tenor of the long commentary it adorns? Sounds like the kind of thing The Spinoff would do. As you will have noticed, it is not John Key in the capture above. It’s Jacinda Ardern, a totally different person, according to an interview published by the Herald yesterday.

Further down in the article, there is a photo of Sir John staring thoughtfully into the middle of the distance. There is also a link to the vaccine reservation site, bonus points for that. And then, oh my god, there are, at 11:30 am, 439 comments. I only read one, the most recent. Here it is in full: “Why the government talked about bits and pieces of what Sir John said they took no action.” Arden will wait for the media to let him know when to do something ”.

But make no mistake: it’s a blow to the Herald to get such a long and substantial editorial from Key, its first since leaving politics.

2. Sir John Key on Stuff, September 26

A big payoff for stuff. A long opinion piece by former Prime Minister Sir John Key. Eloquently argued with the occasional lurch into hyperbole (not alarmist, he urges, while repeatedly comparing New Zealand to North Korea), the piece urges for an acceleration of the opening and frames the challenge with a daring analogy: the space race.

The title does the job, says what’s on the tin. The photo is good. It’s him. It’s John Key. Other photographs include Apollo 13 and a vaccination.

I stuck a little on the first element of escape:

“MIQueue: the great wall of New Zealand”? Did a committee write that? I like, however, that the first link brings me back to the play I’m already reading, a powerful metaphor for the 2021 existential vortex.

But make no mistake: it’s a blow for Stuff to get such a long and substantial editorial from Key, his first since leaving politics.

1. Sir John Key in The Otago Daily Times, September 26

A big bang for the Otago Daily Times. A long opinion piece by former Prime Minister Sir John Key. Eloquently argued with the occasional lurch into hyperbole (not alarmist, he urges, while repeatedly comparing New Zealand to North Korea), the piece urges for an acceleration of the opening and frames the challenge with a daring analogy: the space race.

And as befits the pragmatic people of Otago, a pragmatic title. No pissing here. There’s a photo of the guy, which looks a lot like what he thinks, you know what, it’s time to change the approach to Covid. Even the legend is a laconic triumph:

No other photos in the room. No video. No sophisticated vaccine visualization. Only 973 words from the Time for change over Covid: Key approach.

The choice of the peloton. And make no mistake: it’s a blow to the Otago Daily Times to get such a long and substantial editorial from Key, his first since leaving politics.

Editor’s Note: John Key didn’t offer an editorial to The Spinoff and yes we’re mad at that, but we’re trying not to show it.


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